


A lot of luggage

by TheIceQueen



Series: Tired of fighting [3]
Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anger, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Desus - Freeform, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear, Forehead Kisses, Hugs, Kissing, M/M, Men Crying, Moving In Together, Nicknames, Past Abuse, Pet Names, Protectiveness, Secrets, Tenderness, planning the future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 12:44:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14811596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIceQueen/pseuds/TheIceQueen
Summary: -- Timeline: Two and a half month after they met. --Paul want's to find a place for them to live together, but something is holding Daryl back. Paul presses Daryl's buttons to make him talk, but it has unexpected results.





	A lot of luggage

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Picture set](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8907517) by [TBGkaru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TBGkaru/pseuds/TBGkaru). 



> TBGkaru makes beautiful art. I love the Desus Picture set. This is inspired from chapter 5, but check out all of them.

“C’mon, Dee. Where do you even live?”

“I have a place.”

“A tarp between two trees is not _a place_.”

Daryl grinded his teeth. He was happy… well at least perfectly content, with the way things were. Why would they move in together?

Paul walked over slowly and put a light hand on Daryl’s shoulder. “Tiger, you need a place to hang your hat.”

Daryl shook Paul’s hand of him. “You’re the one always wearing a beanie. I don’t have a hat. Besides, I have an RV, I can use in the winter.”

Paul could understand if Daryl thought this was going too fast but that wasn’t it. Something in Daryl’s voice made him sure this… _conversation_ , could happen after a year too.

“Dee. Wouldn’t it be great to have a place where we could be together without you being a guest?”

Daryl turned and looked at Paul. He was tightening his jaw and breathing heavily through his nose. “We have only known each other for two months.”

“Two and a half.” Paul smiled jokingly, but the joke wasn’t welcomed by the bigger man.

Daryl took a deep breath and turned his back on his lover, trying to control the frustration burning through his body. “Just leave it Rovia.”

Paul walked a few steps closer. “Tell me why, and I’ll leave it.”

Daryl shook his head. “It’s too early.” He knew by now that Paul could hear when he was lying, and he didn’t turn around to watch the disappointment on his face.

Paul walked around Daryl and slowly took his hands. He tried to make eye-contact, but Daryl wouldn’t let him.

“Dee, C’mon. I know that’s not it.” Daryl sluggishly tried to pull his hands away, but Paul held on. “We won’t need a big place, if money is a problem, but I’ve seen your bike. It’s not cheep to keep it that pristine, so I guess you get money from somewhere.”

Daryl broke loose but didn’t move away. He stared Paul straight in the eyes. “Drop it!”

Paul didn’t feel threatened, hell he beat up people for a living, but he hated the look on Daryl’s face. He took a deep breath and continued, he wasn’t dropping this.

“Tell me the truth and I won’t talk about it again.”

Daryl stood frozen, fuming.

“Is it about working? I won’t expect you to get a job. I’ve seen what you’ve brought home from a single hunt. I guess you’ll have dinner ready every day when I get home.”

Daryl puffed up his chest and grinded his teeth. Then he turned fast and rushed to the other side of the room. Standing in the small kitchen corner, trying to control his rage, frustration… fear, whatever this was. He didn’t want to live with Paul, with anyone. He had things he needed to deal with alone.

“Okay.” Paul raised his hand in a surrendering gesture. “I guess that house-wife is not your preferred profession.”

That was it. What the hell was this guy getting at? He stormed to face the smaller man and grabbed him by the neckline in his shirt. Pushed him against the wall.

“Stop it, Rovia! I’m warning you.”

Paul was shocked, but he had to push further. If he backed down now, he wasn’t sure he would see Daryl again. He needed to get him to talk to him. Paul grabbed on tight to Daryl’s wrist, looked him deep in the dark blue eyes and talked calm and quietly.

“Tell me what you’re scared I’ll find out. I’ll help.”

Daryl looked down for a spilt second then his eyes are back, burning into Paul’s.

"I used to beat up smartasses like you."

Paul could feel the hunter’s breath and hear it being pressed through his teeth.

"Charming, but I feel it's kinda late to try and threaten me like this. Considering what impact we both have on each other right after our paths crossed."

Daryl’s face tightened up, his eyes were almost gone. His hand on Paul’s shirt started shaking. Paul was sure Daryl wouldn’t hit him. Almost sure, but he could handle that. The bigger man hissed and pushed Paul to the side, making him fall along the wall to the ground.

Lying half seated, pushed up by his elbow, Paul looked at Daryl. The hunter was doing everything to control himself.

Paul’s heart was racing. More than it should. He wasn’t scared, but something made him feel small and trapped. He lied down on his side and pulled his knees to his chin. Something was wrong. His stomach hurt.

Then he remembered when he’d last had a stomachache like that. He wrapped his arms around his legs and pressed his forehead to his knees.

_You’re a slob, a disappointment and an embarrassment._

_You’re nothing!_

Daryl watched his lover crumbled up on the floor and in an instant, he wasn’t angry. For a second, he just stood there, confused, looking at the strong, lighthearted man, jerking his head and shoulders as if he was being beaten.

“Rovia?”

Paul didn’t react to the sound. He was panting and completely in another place. The panting along with the sudden flinching movements made Paul shake.

Daryl sat down on his knees, at an arm’s length. “Paul?”

There was still no reaction. Daryl’s heartbeat was going up again. What the hell did he do? He placed a hand on Paul’s shoulder and Paul recoiled and scrambled backwards to sit with his back against the wall. Daryl withdrew his hand fast and was shocked to see tears streaming down Paul’s face. Before Daryl could do anything, Paul pulled his knees up and hid his face in them again.

Paul tired to get away from the voice. Twitching his head in the opposite direction every time, but eventually he had to accept that there was no getting away.

_You can’t do anything. You’re useless._

_You’re nothing without me._

_I’ll destroy you._

Paul wasn’t aware that his eyes were wetting his face and jeans, he wasn’t aware that Daryl was in the room, he wasn’t even trying to figure out where he was himself. He only knew he was trapped, scared, useless, and not able to do anything about it.

Daryl was lost, he had no idea what was going on or what to do, but he knew he had to do something. His stomach was tightening at the sight of Paul like this and soon he wouldn’t be able to breathe.

He moved a little closer and squatted down right in front of the shaking man. “Paul? Can’t you hear me? I’m sorry.”

When there was no reaction, Daryl put his hand on Paul’s shoulder once again, this time expecting the physical reaction and grabbed the other one too when Paul tried to get away.

“No. Don’t please!”

Daryl’s heart broke into pieces, but he held on, even when Paul crumbled to all fours to crawl away. Daryl grabbed his hip and pulled him in to sit, back against his chest.

“Paul, Poppet. It’s Dee. I’ll never hurt you.”

Daryl wrapped his arms around the frantic man’s chest and waist and let him kick the air and try to pry the arms from him.

“Please. No!”

“Shh, Poppet. I’m sorry.”

Daryl’s eyes were burning, and his mind was fighting itself. Was he making it worse? What if he let go now, would he ever be able to help? Was Paul scared of _him_?

Paul’s attempts to get lose got slower and less determined. His breathing slowed down a little.

“Paul. It’s me. Dee. Can you hear me?”

Paul wrapped both arms around Daryl’s arm, tightly pressed over the smaller man’s chest, and pulled his legs up in a more relaxed position.

“Poppet. I’m right here. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Daryl didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but it felt like forever. His mind was still going a hundred miles an hour. Paul was the confident one. Sure Daryl tried to seem that way, but Paul had seen right through that. What kind of madness could do this to his strong boyfriend?

Eventually, Paul moved. He backed away to sit on his own, not making eye-contact. Paul hated that this still had a role in his life. He had been so adamant about getting Daryl to open up, and he had thought that his own demons was all in the past.

“Paul?”

Paul shook his head.

“Paul, I’m sorry. Did you think I could hurt you?”

Paul looked up. He could hear the confusion in Daryl’s voice. “No.” He swallowed, to get the rest of the crying out of the way. “Something just clicked. I don’t know.”

Daryl moved to sit next to him against the wall and hung an arm over his shoulders. “Good. I’m pretty sure you’ll kick my ass anyway, I’m out of practice.”

Paul smiled and leaned his head against the strong shoulder next to him.

“I was in a bad relationship, a few years back.”

Daryl stayed quiet but tightened his grip around Paul. The thought had crossed his mind, but it had to have been more than just _bad_ to make Paul react this way.

“You would think that a hand-to-hand combat instructor, who kick the Special Forces ass for a living could hold his own against one drunk man, but…”

“Rovia. You don’t have to tell. I’m not ever going to do that again.” Daryl was going to make good of that promise. The thing he’d just seen was probably in his top five of scary things he never wanted to relive, and when he thought about how it must have been for Paul to relive it, his eyes glazed over, so he couldn’t see.

Paul wanted Daryl to know. For years he hadn’t told anyone. He didn’t know anyone from that time anymore, so he’d never seen a reason to do so.

“He was good at what he did. He never hit me in the face, and I guess that with my job a bruise or five showing in the showers wasn’t anything to worry about.”

Paul pushed himself closer to Daryl and put his hand on his knee. Daryl took it and laced their fingers.

“The worst was the yelling. He told me that I was worthless and couldn’t live without him, that I needed him. It’s horrible to say, I know that now, but eventually I believed him and stopped fighting back when he hit me.”

Daryl felt his shoulder getting wet. He pushed them apart and looked into Paul’s eyes. “I should never have done that. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, I pushed you.”

“How did you get out?”

“My Captain noticed a change in how I worked and pulled me aside. More than once. It came down to if I wanted to keep my job, and I was sure I would be killed if I came home and told that I’d been fired.”

Paul looked down and shook his head. “It’s been years. I thought I was over this.”

Daryl brushed the wild hair from Paul’s forehead and kissed him there. “We all have shit to deal with, I’ll say you’re doing pretty damn good.”

Paul moved closer and sat bum between Daryl’s leg and his own legs wrapped around the bigger man’s waist and arms around his back. He kissed Daryl on the lips and looked him in the eyes.

“Dee. I wont bring up living together anymore, but you have baggage too. Let me help with that.”

Daryl looked to the side. He couldn’t. Not yet. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready to tell, like Paul just did. Paul took a light hold on Daryl’s chin and turned his head back to look at him.

“Hon?”

“I can’t, not now… I’m not sure I ever will. If you can accept that, I’ll move in with you. I’ll buy us a house.”

Paul understood that Daryl wasn’t ready but admitting that he was hiding something and actually wanting to move in together, had to be a step in the right direction. He stared into Daryl’s eyes and eventually nodded. “Okay, Tiger. I’ll wait.”

They shared a long and deep kiss and neither of them wanted to let go, but something suddenly popped into Paul’s head.

“Wait!” He put both hands on Daryl’s chest. “ _You’ll_ buy us a house?!”

Daryl smiled. He knew Paul had had quite the day, but that had still taken a long time for him to figure out. “I have money. Just because I don’t use them doesn’t mean I don’t have enough.”

“Enough for a house?”

“Right, Hot-Stuff. A big house.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've already written and posted where Daryl opens up about his past. It's called INJURY and takes place quite some time after this. I can't write all of these in chronological order, but will place them that way in this series. :)
> 
> As always tell me what you liked about it, and there is a bigger chance that I'll write more of that. ;)


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